Unconditional Motherhood

After brisk walking along the cool side street of Mariapolis in Tagaytay City a couple of weeks ago, I, along with two sister-friends, went to the market and brought some lanzones and a bunch of bananas.

I love to eat these teeny-weeny bananas. And I usually never leave this comfort zone without eating or bringing home a bunch of this yummy fruit, which we call “saying batah-batah,” in our local dialect.

On our way back to our private quarters while riding on a three-wheeled motor vehicle, I was not able to wait longer to fill my tummy with this potassium-provider fruit. So, I picked one banana within reach behind the driver’s seat.

“Put it back, it’s mine!”

This sign dangled from the motor vehicle grabbed my attention. I giggled as I clicked my cellphone and took a picture of these baby bananas with a “warning note” that perhaps awakened a mommy-hood emotion in me. The saying I read was akin to my kids (and not to forget the “youngest” one, their father!) telling me: “Mother, come back, we miss you!”

I wondered: Did everything turn into chaos when their overly responsible “mother horse” was gone for a while? Oh-uh, the “band” must have missed the sweet and the harsh voice of the only “vocalist” in the household who “performs” (everything from A to Z) patiently!

Well, mommies should not become mummies wrapped by stressful, albeit, meaningful bandages of household duties. They must take a break more often in whatever way they can!

Interacting with others is one of my stress relievers. The company of beautiful people, good friends and acquaintances at the event I attended in Mariapolis was a delight as usual.

A night I spent away from my four daughters and my “little” boy (amah) had somehow released excess hormones secreted within my brain and my nervous system.

I embraced the cool and foggy weather as I gazed at the Mount Taal, which can be viewed across the living chambers of Mariapolis. It invigorated me with fresh air; lessened my nervous tensions; and freshened my mind as well.

But believe it or not, before and after I reached the site, text messages from my kids popped up on my cellphone:

“Mom, when are you coming back?” “What are you doing right now?” “Where are you at this moment?” “When are we going to buy Cay’s birthday cake and gift?” And a “Goodnight Inah!” late text message startled me from sleep as I enjoyed the silent peaceful night in my cozy room. Of course “Pasalubong!” should never be forgotten.

Wasn’t it funny? I think I did not release endorphins at all!

But honestly speaking, I considered motherhood as one of the paths towards unconditional love because “I believe the choice to become a mother is the choice to become one of the greatest spiritual teachers there is,” says Oprah.

I nourished four little angels of which has each own God-given endowment and distinct temperament.

Through my journey along with these four “smooth and bumpy roads,” I have come to know my real self and learned to appreciate more of the Divine, yet struggling moment when my mind engaged with the Beloved’s thoughts on every task.

As I reached the status of matriarch, from conception to nurturing my children, I have come to learn the amazing and beautiful Attributes of the Loving One as I have seen it manifested in His beloved creature: Human being.

My children represent the four elements of my life, namely: earth, water, air and fire. These four qualities manifested transparently in their individual personality.

The ground that has been continuously stepped on by everyone never complained is the earth-daughter who taught me patience and humility.

The water-daughter taught me flexibility to act like a substance that could fit into any vessel.

The cool breeze of the air-daughter taught me compassion that extinguished my anger.

And the fire-daughter kindled me with a fire of mercy and kept my heart burning with love.

As I journeyed every stage of motherhood, these four elements have perfected my disposition – from a heartless ignorant to a loving servant.

I have come to realize more of the real meaning of my self when I stripped my selfish singlehood and plunged into the sea of unconditional motherhood.

I have always been a doubter but I have only one principle in life: Connect to the Higher Self and everything will be in its place because the Higher Being is the summit of my breath, which is my only life.

Yes, I love to play the role of a loving and patient (I need to!) mother to my four lovely daughters as well as a pleasant and tolerant (I must!) wife and friend to their father, who is protective and supportive (he must!) of me.

Now, if you ask me if I would like to spend another round of “mummy-hood” to all these adorable and mystical bandages of my hands and feet, I would shout to the universe with joy: “Definitely yes! Why not?”

*By the way, today, October 22, is the natal day of my 83-year old mother, to whom I owe everything of what I am now. She is still alive and kicking, alhamdulillah! (All praise be to God.)

© Copyright JoyWadi