Crestfallen

Once, I find myself in pain and chaos
I am cuddling anxiety, hatred, fear;
struggling thru the strong wind of
a storm that tries to destroy me

Weeping in silence: I would demand
Narcissistic traits envelop me
Feeling under pressure
I succumb to this egoistic autocrat!

Ego’s voice echoes – it triggers me;
abusing my weakness and blindness Darkness keeps veiling my heart,
the haughty tyrant suffocates me!

I am in turmoil: Wallowing in self-pity
Boiling in abhorrence: I want to win!
Selfhood arises. I am in pain; I am
continuously demanding :
I want this! I must have that!

Crestfallen – I am gasping for breath
The commanding conqueror’s
ego traps me inside it’s dark
narrow avenging mindset

But tyranny must come to a halt!
Begging to return to my peaceful cavern
Selflessness frees me as I breathe in
I am beautifully bend-almost broken

It’s clear: My Real Self is perfectly right
A tyrant has no power nor a single right
to rule me; I just happen to yield
to the whispers of a negative force!

Now I am no longer in pain nor in chaos
Tho I regret for my senselessness:
I blindly weave my own destructive
blanket of multiplicity that shrouds
my peaceful and sacred heart!

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Beware of people with narcissistic disorder